Influence no one to do wrong

I suppose a sufi seldom consciously wants to influence anybody to do wrong. But I suppose wrongdoing starts by influencing the thoughts and attitudes of another?
To watch my words in every situation - even when I am so frustrated that I feel I could explode, is a good beginning :-))

The chinese say that the words that come out of your mouth, enter the ears of another. And every word spoken must finish its task, says Murshid...

Next time I will explode very silently - behind the closed door at my office.

Bear no malice against your worst enemy

15 years ago they went through a painful divorce. We say: "On the other side of love one sometimes find hatred"......

He couldn't understand why she left. Instead of being his beloved wife, she became a terrifying devil. No common sense could reach him, and he despised their love. 
His love turned to hate - Her love was put on a hard trial....
 
Finally she realized that she could only connect to his spiritual being. Every day she offered the same prayer: Let us be friends instead of foes, and let your hate again turn into love!
Slowly the conditions started to change, and after 15 years and many sufferings, he was finally ready to turn hatred to love.

Do not judge another by your own law

Last year - at Suluk, Pir Zia presented this rule and asked us to contemplate it... I am still contemplating....
Life is so full of difficult situations  - and as long as we do not take full responsibility for our own life and the lives of others, we need laws...
But at Suluk, I realized, that at the age of 60, this is no longer my main challenge... it is gradually changing to... how can I meet life's challenges with a neutral mind ? "What if things are not as they appear to be?" (Pir Vilayat)
How is it possible to live a life without preconcieved ideas or laws to guide me? I started my adult life as an anarchist, and was drawn to the sufi path out of a longing for spiritual freedom.... I want freedom  - for me, and for all living creatures - freedom, freedom, freedom

Do not look down upon the one who looks up to you

I grew up,  in Oslo, the capitol of Norway, a small town... but still the CAPITAL !!. , but we spent most of our vacations in the countryside, on the farm where my mother was born.
I remember looking down upon the people living there.. they spoke with dialect, their clothes were not so modern as mine ... and so forth...
Now I live outside Oslo myself and would never change it for a stressful citylife. Often I notice how the busy city people show the same attitude that I had .. the city attitude - could be interpreted as snobbery, I suppose, but I recognize and recall the feeling of separateness
Towards The One - forever and ever

Extend your help willingly to those in need

In my country the news are not dramatic. Norway is a peaceful and calm country most of the time. We have democracy and equality. We have the right to free speach and many other freedoms that people in other countries do not even dream about....
A ten year old Afghan girl was going to be sold to an old Afghan man whose former wives were all mysteriously dead or had disappeared... A Morrocan girl commited suicide when she was to be given in marriage to the man who raped and violated her...
I am an Avaaz member  - I support this organization in e-mail campaigns and with donations. I encourage you to read more about Avaaz - the largest and fastets growing organization on the internet - run by young people who want to change the world - so it may be a better place to live in for all human beings
"If one of us suffer, we all suffer"

Copper rule no 3 : Do nothing which will make your conscience feel guilty

This incident happened while I was travelling to a Suluk session in France. The plane was late out from Oslo, and I reached Paris airport, while the sun was setting over Paris.
I had still a long way to go, and it was getting dark as I entered the crowded Montparnasse railway station. A long line was waiting in front of the ticket office, and the next train to Epernon was ready to leave. I skipped the formalities, and jumped on the train.... better be caught in a ticket control, than walking alone in the dark lanes of Epernon on a late Friday evening, I thought....What I had not taken into account, was my conscience. Brought up to obey society's rules, what happened next, taught me how my heart may respond to my mind.
When the railway conductors entered our compartment, my heart started beating so hard I could hear it. Then my mind started making up all kinds of stories about how this would end in the most dramatic way!! I breathed deeply to calm my agitated heart, and started a conversation in my mind to justify that I was in my right to be a stowaway - just then and there :-)
Luckily the conductors passed without asking for my ticket, and I reached Epernon and the other Parvanas with a calm heart and a clear conscience

At Suluk I contemplated the 6th copper rule, together with the wise sufi Ischtar, but that is another story